Football season’s start is just around the corner. To get you in the football frame of mind, here are a few funny football quotations.
You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
Three funny football quotations from Erma Bombeck
- Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
- The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean.
- If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
More Football quotations
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
A dozen funny football quotes by John McKay
- Kickers are like horse manure. They’re all over the place.
- When asked about his team’s execution: “I’m in favor of it.”
- We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.
- Intensity is a lot of guys that run fast.
- We’ve broken down the expansion teams and they’ve averaged winning 2.7 games their first year, which to me is rather difficult. I figured out the 2, but the .7 has got me wondering what the hell is going on.
- Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can’t play football worth a damn.
- On his team’s blocking strategy: “Hold when you’re at home and don’t hold when you’re on the road.”
- If you have everyone back from a team that lost ten games, experience isn’t too important.
- On how coaching an expansion team is like a religious experience: “You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is ‘no.’
- I’ll probably take a little time off and go hide somewhere. We will be back. Maybe not this century, but we will be back and we will be a better football team.
- On the Buccaneers ineffective special-teams play, “They were absolutely horrible and that’s the best thing I can say. Besides that they were bad. These people are not poorly paid you know.
- On the Joe Namath’s play during the Jets 34-0 victory over Tampa Bay, “Namath is still Namath, but I must say that our guys were nice to him. I noticed when they knocked him down, they helped him to his feet. That was gentlemanly. I thought one stood around long enough to get his autograph.”
Amusing quotes on football
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
George F. Will