Funny Bowling Quotes and Puns

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Our funny bowling quotes will give you something to talk about with your team or share with a bowler in your life.

Bowling is a unique game that’s both a sport and recreational indulgence. With more than 250,000 bowling lanes and 100 million players, it is considered among the most widely played sports in the world. It is a part of American culture, and even when many other sports activities have intruded its space, it continues to be a crowd pleaser.

Bowling is a part of the popular culture and has found place in film, TV and professional sport. It is also on its way to become an Olympic Sport in the not so distant future. Many movies have been made around the sport, and many famous men and women have expressed their appreciation and weakness for it. Bowling lingo has spread into other parts of our lives. Here are some funny bowling quotes for amusement and inspiration. Enjoy!

Bowling Quotes Funny

If I had been on ‘Bowling for Dollars’, I’d wind up owing them money.
Ricki Lake

It’s not how you bowl, it’s how your roll.
Unknown

Split Happens!
Unknown

Never rent bowling shoes, if you wear size 15.
Unknown

Dinosaurs didn’t bowl & now they are extinct. Coincidence?
Unknown

I have always hated bowling, and I don’t mind admitting it.
Hunter S. Thompson

funny bowling quotes imageFunny Bowling Sayings

Bowling, I like bowling. I’ve been getting into this bowling thing. It’s kinda fun.
Queen Latifah

Sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. It’s what you say when you spill a cup of coffee or throw a gutter ball when you’re bowling with the girls in the league. True sorrow is as rare as true love.
Stephen King

And you call yourselves a bowling alley?
Woody Harrelson

I was a mod when I was a kid. I’d be in Italian pencil-leg trousers with those bowling shoes you wear outside and a Fred Perry polo shirt with a V-neck sweater. It was like an Essex uniform – a very specific look.
Stephen Moyer

I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? ‘You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins.’ ‘You sure?’ ‘Trust me. Just do it son!’
Jim Gaffigan

The Big Lebowski Quotes

The Big Lebowski is a 1998 Crime Comedy film.

Walter Sobchak: You are entering a world of pain. You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain!

The Dude: Obviously you’re not a golfer.

The Dude: You brought a Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak: I did not bring it bowling. I’m not renting it shoes, I’m not buying it a beer, dude.

Walter Sobchak: This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Donny: I got a beverage here man! Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!

The Dude: This is a very complicated case Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.

Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong?

The Dude: This aggression will not stand, man.

The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.

Kingpin Quotes

Ishmael: Well, my grandpa always taught me to bowl 15 frames. It’s like I told you before, we Amish, we do everything half again as hard as you do. Ten frames.

Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I’ve told you. We don’t need nuthin’. We don’t even have a novelty machine in the men’s room anymore.

Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he’s the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He’s got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker.

Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn’t talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.

Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I’ll lose my entire bonus check because I’m so *bombed*.

Bowling Priest: You see, bowling for money… that’s my only vice.
Cocktail Waitress: Here’s your drink.
Bowling Priest: Thanks sugar
Bowling Priest: . Okay, two vices.

McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?
Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.

Ernie McCracken: Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.

Roy: Can you believe this? Me, on a professional bowling tour?
Calvert Munson: It’s your calling, son. One day, when people say the name Munson, they’re gonna think ‘winner.’ Just like DiMaggio is to baseball or, or Unitas is to football, that’s what Munson will be to bowling.

Funny Bowling Quotes

I go bowling once every four years to make sure I still hate it.
Unknown

Drew’s a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing ‘The Drew Carey Show,’ he got into bowling, and suddenly he’s phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It’s just how he does it.
Ryan Stiles

Our small town used to have a bowling alley, but somebody stole the pin.
Unknown

I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.
Kevin Hart

Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I’ve worked alongside them, gone bowling with them and watched them pass me over for promotions time and time again.
Al Bundy, (Married with Children TV Show)

Bowling Puns

Q: What is the 7th pin in bowling called?
A: Mother-In-Law!

I’ve never owned a single pair of shoes in all of my life. I just keep renting them from the bowling alley.

Studies indicate that 4 out of every 10 professional bowlers wind up in the gutter.

Q: Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
A: So you can hear a pin drop!

I go down on one knee. Start praying and wind up in the gutter, I call it Tebowling.

Q: Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
A: After getting a strike, they spike the ball.

Skips must be up. Thirds must measure up. Seconds must chalk up. Leads must shut up.

Q: What did the bowling pins do?
A: They went on strike.

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Wisconsin wedding?
A: He’s the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt

I find it endearing that you still use bumper lanes as a grown adult.

Q: What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
A: They both want a Turkey.

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