• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • Store
  • About
    • Contact
  • Quotes
  • Slogans
  • Names
  • Blog
    • Basketball
    • Pickleball
  • Menu
  • Start A Blog
Sports Stories logo

Sports Feel Good Stories

Sports quotes, stories, team names, and slogans

You are here: Home / Baseball / Funny Baseball Quotes

Funny Baseball Quotes

June 24, 2020

If you think America’s national pastime has lost its luster, these funny baseball quotes will remind you of the joy and fun of the game. Perhaps more so than any other sport, baseball seems to attract fun-loving and quirky individuals who have a way with words.

To commemorate those folks, we’ve put together this list that is sure to produce a laugh or two from even the toughest crowds.

So, sit back, have a read and enjoy some of the funny things said about the great sport of baseball.

Baseball Quotes Funny

Quote about sneaking a pitch by Hank Aaron.

1.) Trying to sneak a pitch past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster.
Curt Simmons

Casey Stengel baseball quotation on doubleheader.

2.) The only thing worse than a Mets game is a Mets doubleheader.
Casey Stengel

Ted William quote on thinking.

3.) If you don’t think too good, don’t think too much.
Ted Williams

Jim Bouton quotations on baseball players vs football players.

4.) Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
Jim Bouton

Roger Hornsby on baseball and golf.

5.) I don’t want to play golf. When I hit the ball, I want others to chase it.
Roger Hornsby

Play Ball! Funny baseball quotes.

6.) The last words to the Star-Spangled Banner? Play ball!
Unknown

boys and baseball.

7.) I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.
Thomas Campbell Clark

Babe Ruth quote on when to quit.

8.) All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill.
Babe Ruth

Baseball is the toy department - funny baseball quotes.

9.) In the great department store of life, baseball is in the toy department.
Unknown

Really funny baseball quotes.

10.) They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn’t allow visitors in the clubhouse.
Bob Uecker

Check out Good Baseball Sayings

Hilarious Baseball Quotations

11.) Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.
William Alexander

12.) I’d rather be the shortest player in the Majors than the tallest player in the minors.
Fred Patek

13.) I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.
Leo Durocher

14.)It ain’t nothing ‘till I call it.
Bill Klein, former MLB umpire

15.) If you get three strikes, not even the best lawyer in the world can get you off.
Bill Veeck

You might like our Best Quotations About Baseball page.

16.) I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar.
Bob Lemon

17.) All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a doubleheader.
George Will

18.) Us ballplayers do things backward. First, we play, then we retire and go to work.
Charlie Gehringer

19.) There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works.
Charlie Lau

20.) The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then to pick it up.
Bob Uecker

Ready for a challenge? Take the Sports Trivia Questions Quiz

Sandy Koufax's fastball quote.

Really Funny Baseball Quotes

21.) Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.
Yogi Berra

22.) So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.
Yogi Berra

23.) I’m glad I don’t play anymore. I could never learn all of those handshakes.
Phil Rizzuto

24.) You can sum up the game of baseball in one word: ‘You never know.’
Joaquin Andujar

25.) I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.
Bob Uecker

26.) Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next.
George Steinbrenner

27.) Baseball must be a great game to survive the fools who run it.
Bill Terry

28.) The best thing about baseball is there’s no homework.
Dan Quisenberry

29.) Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal.
George Will

30.) With the money I’m making, I should be playing two positions.
Pete Rose

Ernie Banks quote on being a good sport.

Amusing Sayings From Baseball Notables

31.) I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.
Sandy Koufax

32.) Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes.
Will Rogers

33.) If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.
Sam Rutigliano

34.) Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up.
Sharon Olds

35.) He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.
Yogi Berra

36.) It’s like deja-vu all over again.
Yogi Berra

37.) The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
Bob Lemon

38.) Finish last in your league, and they call you an idiot. Finish last in medical school, and they call you a doctor.
Abe Lemons

39.) Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.
Phil Linz

40.) In a way, an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn’t think you’re safe when you’re out.
Larry Goetz

Willie Mays' glove quote.

Humorous Baseball Quotes

41.) Willie Mays’ glove is where triples go to die.
Jim Murray

42.) We have football weather during baseball season and baseball weather during football season.
Herb Caen on San Francisco

43.) Baseball is the only sport that appears backward in a mirror.
George Carlin

44.) Your chances of winning, I’ve got to believe, are really, really small when you score one run in 18 innings.
Clint Hurdle

45.) Watching baseball under the lights is like observing dogs indoors at a pedigree show. In both instances, the environment is too controlled to suit the species.
Melvin Maddocks

46.) There are peaks and valleys in this game. Right now, we’re in a valley – Death Valley.
Kirby Puckett

47.) The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
Casey Stengel

baseball quotes and sayings.

Witty Takes our America’s National Pastime

48.) The Mets have found ways of losing that I never knew existed.
Casey Stengel

49.) Players have been bought, sold, and exchanged as though they were sheep instead of American citizens.
John Montgomery Ward

50.) Strikeouts are boring – besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic.
Bull Durham

51.) You can’t steal second base and keep one foot on first.
Unknown

52.) The designated hitter rule is like letting someone else take Wilt Chamberlain’s free throws.
Rick Wise

53.) He looks like a greyhound, but he runs like a bus.
George Brett on Royal teammate Jamie Quirk

54.) Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in blackjack.
Adam Morrow

So, now it’s time to take me out to the ball game. Play Ball!

By Mike O’Halloran

Mike is the founder and editor of Sports Feel Good Stories.

Extra Innings

You’re on the Funny Baseball Quotes page.

You might like:

Baseball Captions for Instagram and Facebook

Slogans for Baseball

Team Names for Baseball

Famous Yogi Berra Sayings

Satchel Paige Quotes

Filed Under: Baseball

Primary Sidebar

Copyright 2009-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. • Privacy Policy • Note: We earn an affiliate commission from some of the sites we link to.
All rights reserved. No part of this site may be reproduced in whole or in part in any manner without the permission of the copyright owner.

MENU
  • Home
  • Store
  • About
    • Contact
  • Quotes
  • Slogans
  • Names
  • Blog
    • Basketball
    • Pickleball
  • Menu
  • Start A Blog