This collection of funny bowling quotes will give you something to talk about with your team or share with a bowler in your life.
Bowling is a unique game that’s both a sport and a recreational indulgence. With more than 250,000 bowling lanes and 100 million players, it is considered among the most widely played sports in the world. It is a part of American culture, and even when many other sports activities have intruded on its space, it continues to be a crowd-pleaser.
Bowling is part of popular culture and has found a place in film, TV, and professional sports. It is also on its way to becoming an Olympic Sport in the not-so-distant future. Many movies have been made around the sport, and many famous men and women have expressed appreciation. Bowling lingo has spread into other parts of our lives. Without further ado, for your amusement and inspiration, enjoy!
Bowling Quotes Funny
1.) If I had been on ‘Bowling for Dollars, I’d wind up owing them money.
Ricki Lake
2.) It’s not how you bowl; it’s how you roll.
Unknown
3.) Split Happens!
Unknown
4.) Never rent bowling shoes if you wear a size 15.
Unknown
5.) Dinosaurs didn’t bowl & now they are extinct. Coincidence?
Unknown
6.) I have always hated bowling, and I don’t mind admitting it.
Hunter S. Thompson
Funny Bowling Sayings
7.) Bowling: I like bowling. I’ve been getting into this bowling thing. It’s kinda fun.
Queen Latifah
8.) Sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. It’s what you say when you spill a cup of coffee or throw a gutter ball when you’re bowling with the girls in the league. True sorrow is as rare as true love.
Stephen King
9.) I was a mod when I was a kid. I’d be in Italian pencil-leg trousers with those bowling shoes you wear outside and a Fred Perry polo shirt with a V-neck sweater. It was like an Essex uniform – a very specific look.
Stephen Moyer
10.) I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had its own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? ‘You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins.’ ‘You sure?’ ‘Trust me. Just do it, son!’
Jim Gaffigan
11.) I’m a bowling pin; even when I fall, I’ll always stand back up.
Jay Park
The Big Lebowski
The Big Lebowski is a 1998 Crime Comedy film.
- Walter Sobchak: You are entering a world of pain. You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain!
- The Dude: Obviously, you’re not a golfer.
- Walter Sobchak: This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
- Donny: I got a beverage here, man! Hey, careful, man, there’s a beverage here!
- The Dude: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.
- Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game; this determines who enters the next round, robin. Am I wrong?
- The Dude: This aggression will not stand, man.
- The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.
Kingpin Lines
- Ishmael: Well, my grandpa always taught me to bowl 15 frames. It’s like I told you before, we Amish, we do everything half again as hard as you do. Ten frames.
- Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I’ve told you. We don’t need nuthin’. We don’t even have a novelty machine in the men’s room anymore.
- Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he’s the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He’s got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker.
- Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn’t talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck. - Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I’ll lose my entire bonus check because I’m so *bombed*.
- Bowling Priest: You see, bowling for money… that’s my only vice.
Cocktail Waitress: Here’s your drink.
Bowling Priest: Thanks sugar
Bowling Priest: Okay, two vices. - McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?
Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot. - Ernie McCracken: Sometimes, a bowler just has to face the music.
- Roy: Can you believe this? Me, on a professional bowling tour?
Calvert Munson: It’s your calling, son. One day, when people say the name Munson, they’re gonna think ‘winner.’ Just like DiMaggio is to baseball or, or Unitas is to football, that’s what Munson will be to bowling.
Funny Bowling Quotes
- I go bowling once every four years to ensure I still hate it.
Unknown - Drew’s a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing ‘The Drew Carey Show,’ he got into bowling, and suddenly he’s phoning up pros for tips and carrying around three balls. It’s just how he does it.
Ryan Stiles - Our small town used to have a bowling alley, but somebody stole the pin.
Unknown - I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.
Kevin Hart - Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of them are incompetent boobs. I know this because I’ve worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, and watched them pass me over for promotions time and time again.
Al Bundy (Married with Children TV Show) - One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.
Don Carter - In bowling and in life, if a person made the spares, the strikes would take care of themselves.
Stephen King - My drinking team has a bowling problem.
Unknown - We’re goin’ bowling. If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths.
Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons” - The bowling alley is the poor man’s country club.
Sanford Hansell - Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.
Demetri Martin - Every bowling center should have a house pro.
Don Johnson
Bowling Puns
- Bowling is fun in your spare time.
Unknown - Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
George Carlin - Bowling: A sport for folks with talent to spare.
Unknown - Leave no pin standing.
Unknown - I hear the bowling thunder.
Unknown - No smoking; just a lucky strike.
Unknown - Q: What is the 7th pin in bowling called?
A: Mother-In-Law! - I’ve never owned a single pair of shoes in all of my life. I just keep renting them from the bowling alley.
- Studies indicate that 4 out of every ten professional bowlers wind up in the gutter.
- Q: Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
A: So you can hear a pin drop!
Good Bowling Humor
- I go down on one knee. Start praying and wind up in the gutter; I call it Tebowing.
- Q: Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
A: After getting a strike, they spike the ball. - Skips must be up. Thirds must measure up. Seconds must chalk up. Leads must shut up.
- Q: What did the bowling pins do?
A: They went on strike. - Q: How do you tell me which is the groom at a Wisconsin wedding?
A: He’s the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt - I find it endearing that you still use bumper lanes as a grown adult.
- Q: What do a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
A: They both want a Turkey.
Please let us know via the Contact page if you have any suggestions for our collection of funny bowling quotes. Thanks!
By Mike O’Halloran
Founder and Editor, Sports Feel Good Stories
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