Ted Lasso is a classic fish-out-of-water story. He’s an American Division II football coach who is recruited under false pretenses to coach a professional football club in England.
Despite his rudimentary knowledge of the game of soccer, Lasso finds success with his humble and kind approach to coaching and dealing with people.
These inspirational and funny Ted Lasso quotes capture some of his folksy wit and wisdom that not only endears him to his players but also to his viewing audience.
Good Ted Lasso Quotes
1.) Takin’ on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.
2.) I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million that sometimes you forget that out there, you’re just one in 11.
3.) As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.
4.) I believe in hope. I believe in “Believe.”
5.) There’s two buttons I never like to hit: that’s panic and snooze.
6.) That’s a real roller coaster there. Glad I was tall enough to go along on that ride.
7.) For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.
8.) Coach, I got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Inspirational Ted Lasso Sayings
9.) I promise you; there is something worse out there than being sad. And that is being alone and being sad. Ain’t no one in this room alone.
10.) Don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.
11.) I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorm.
12.) Little tip for y’all. Fries are called chips. Chips are called crisps. And bangers aren’t great songs, but they do make you feel like dancing because they’re so darn tasty.
13.) That right there, that’s a scone. Tastes like a muffin, except it sucks all the spit out of your mouth.
14.) This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of it either.
15.) Early drinkin’ means quick drunken.
16.) He thinks he’s mad now; wait till we win him over.
17.) I think if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothin’ you can’t get through together.
18.) You know what the happiest animal on earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.
19.) Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson — on a high!
20.) When it comes to locker rooms, I like ’em just like my mother’s bathing suits. I only wanna see ’em in one piece.
21.) You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.
22.) I want you to know I value each of your opinions, even when you’re wrong.
23.) Be curious. Not judgmental.
24.) I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.
25.) If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.
You might like our Life Lessons Quotes page.
Funny Quotes from Ted
These Ted Lasso quotes reflect the fact that Ted, played by Jason Sudeikis, covers a wide gamut in his conversational topics.
26.) Ice cream is the best. It’s kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live. Never disappoints.
27.) Even Woody and Buzz got under each other’s plastic.
28.) Looks like a renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy.
29.) Little girls are mysterious. And silly and powerful. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago.
30.) If we see each other in our dreams, let’s goof around a little bit and pretend like we don’t know each other.
31.) I know change can be scary. One minute, you are playing freeze tag out there at recess with all your buddies. Next thing you know, you’re getting zits, and your voice gets low. And every time your art teacher, Ms. Scanlon, leans over your desk to check and see how your project’s going, you feel all squiggly inside.
32.) I’ve never been embarrassed about having streaks in my drawers. You know, it’s all part of growing up.
33.) I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we.
34.) That’s the funny thing about coincidences, ain’t it? Sometimes they just happen.
35.) I’m sorry, Roy. But I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life coaching with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin ASAP.
36.) I think I literally have a better understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside… It was the mob.
37.) You gonna give me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment? That’s a combo. Does it come with a medium drink?
38.) It’s kind of like back in the 80s when ‘bad’ meant ‘good.’
39.) Yeesh, sometimes living here is like being in a foreign country.
40.) Look, we are not playing for a tie. Ain’t nobody here gonna kiss their sister…which is an American phrase that I’m now realizing does not exist here, and that’s good, ’cause it’s creepy, and I hate it myself; I don’t know why I said it.
41.) I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down and ended up in a pool of cash and Sour Patch Kids.
42.) There’s a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter. Heck, someone made an account for my mustache.
43.) I always thought that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. It’s horrible. No, thank you.
Words of Wisdom From Ted Lasso
44.) This is a sad moment right here. For all of us. And there ain’t nothing I can say, standing in front of you right now, that can take that away. But please do me this favor, will you? Lift your heads up and look around this locker room. Yeah? Look at everybody else in here.
And I want you to be grateful that you’re going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain’t nobody in this room alone. Let’s be sad now. Let’s be sad together. And then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish. Onward. Forward.
45.) So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope.
Roy Kent Quotes
46.) It’s more than a game to me. It’s all I’ve ever known. And, It’s who I am. It’s all I am.
47.) I Like Being Roy Kent. I don’t know if I can handle just being some loser has been called Roy.
48.) Shut up, just shut up. You had me at Coach.
49.) Call me old one more time.
50.) It hurt my feeling.
51.) Enjoy your trophies for winning nothing.
52.) Hey Siri, Play the Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley’s playlist.
53.) Don’t you dare settle for fine.
54.) Probably homesick. Closest thing he can find to a Dodge Ram.
55.) The 28th — the sexiest of all the days!
56.) Does my face look like it’s in the mood for shape-based jokes?
57.) I do yoga with a group of women In their sixties. They’ve no idea who I am. It’s twice a week, and it’s really good for my core.
Coach Beard Sayings
58.) Butts on three.
59.) Reason is powerless in the expression of love.
60.) She seems fun!
61.) Oh, what a lovely inscription – that you wrote completely over my head, face, and body.
62.) I’ve been to Vegas many times. One night is good; two nights is perfect; three is too many.
63.) Ted is a man, just a man. And as for the fragility of life, I’m so glad someone finally asked. Because yeah, I got a few thoughts.
Jamie Tartt Quotations
64.) Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?
65.) God bless me, everyone.
66.) What better thing to spend money on than love?
67.) Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.
Quotes by Keeley Jones, Nate, Leslie Higgins, and More
68.) I’m sort of famous for being almost famous.
69.) As good as you are at your job, I’m twice as good at mine.
Dr. Sharon Fieldstone
70.) Football is life!
71.) I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.
72.) Ever since I was little, I always used to dream about sitting down with a bunch of mates talking about the complex dynamics between men and women.
73.) Every disadvantage has its advantage.
74.) I am a strong and capable man. That’s my mantra.
75.) I suppose the best brand is being yourself.
76.) I don’t drink coffee. My mother always says I was born caffeinated.
77.) My relationship is the oxygen that gives me life.
78.) I lost my way for a minute, but I’m on the road back.
79.) I like the idea of someone becoming rich because of what they gave to the world, not just because of who their family is.
80.) If the Lasso way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right.
Trent Crim, The Independent
Lighthearted Ted Lasso Quotes
81.) Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then, one day, was driving my little boy to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.
82.) It’s just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.
83.) Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.
84.) You got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends it like himself.
85.) You are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51.
86.) I think that’s what it’s all about. Embracing change.
87.) Sounds to me like someone’s trapped inside life’s most complicated shape: a love triangle.
88.) Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even do this?
Ted Lasso FAQs
Here are some frequently asked questions about Ted Lasso.
Ted Lasso is available exclusively on Apple TV. It is an Apple TV+ original. Apple TV charges $4.99 per month after a 7-day free trial.
There are two seasons of Ted Lasso available. Season 1 had 10 episodes, and Season 2 had 12 episodes. Per industry reports, a third season is planned, and filming is to begin in 2022.
– Ted Lasso is played by Jason Sudeikis.
– Roy Kent is played by Brett Goldstein.
– Coach Beard is played by Brendan Hunt.
– Nathan “Nate” Shelley is played by Nick Mohammed.
– Rebecca Welton is played by Hannah Waddingham.
– Keeley Jones is played by Juno Temple.
– Leslie Higgins is played by Jeremy Swift.
– Jamie Tartt is played by Phil Dunster.
Something about the show and Ted Lasso’s approach to coaching has struck a chord with audiences. Kindness matters. Placing people above wins is important. Being a good person counts.
If you don’t find yourself rooting for AFC Richmond and Ted Lasso after a couple of episodes, you’ll be in a very small minority.
We hope you enjoyed our look at Ted Lasso quotes.
By Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Sports Feel Good Stories. He has written three books on coaching.
You’re on our 73 Ted Lasso Quotes Straight From The Heart (Some Funny Ones, Too) page.
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