If you’re looking for laughs that will have young soccer fans giggling from kickoff to the final whistle, you’re in the right place. This collection of 200 Soccer Jokes for Kids is packed with funny, silly, and clever punchlines that celebrate the world’s most popular sport in a way kids love. Whether they play on a team or just enjoy watching the game, there’s something here to keep them entertained.
The jokes come from the playful mind of Mike O’Halloran, author of the popular kids’ title Soccer Jokes for Kids Ages 7–10 – available at Amazon. Known for creating humor that connects with young athletes and readers, he writes jokes that are easy to understand, age-appropriate, and perfect for sharing at practice, in the classroom, or around the dinner table.
Inside this mega-collection, you’ll find funny and engaging jokes covering a wide range of soccer topics, including referees, passing, coaches, and more game-day moments kids recognize instantly. It’s a fun way to build excitement for the sport while delivering plenty of smiles, groans, and laugh-out-loud reactions along the way.
- Best Soccer Jokes For Kids
- Funny Soccer Jokes
- Clean Soccer Jokes
- Futbol One-liners
- Soccer Puns
- Soccer Dad Jokes
- Short Soccer Jokes
- Soccer Player Jokes
- Soccer Knock-Knock Jokes
- Soccer Referee Jokes
- Soccer Goalie Jokes and Goalkeeper Fun
- Soccer Coach Jokes
- Girls Soccer Jokes
- Boys Soccer Jokes
- Skill-Specific Soccer Humor
- World Cup Soccer Jokes
- FAQ — Soccer Jokes
- By Mike O'Halloran
Best Soccer Jokes For Kids
1.) Why was the soccer field wet?
Because the players kept dribbling.
2.) Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.
Learn the common soccer positions and their responsibilities.
3.) Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?
They hog the ball.
4.) Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.
5.) Why don’t soccer fans wear eyeglasses?
It’s a contact sport.
6.) Why do soccer players do well in school?
They know how to use their heads.
7.) Why was the soccer stadium so cold?
All the fans kept doing the wave.
8.) What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
A bawl club.
9.) Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
So he could tie the score.
10.) What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.
You might also enjoy our 250+ Baseball Jokes feature.
Funny Soccer Jokes
11.) What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
Penal-tea.
12.) What do you call a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
Ghoulkeeper.
13.) My boyfriend made a save in a soccer game.
That’s how I knew he was a keeper.
14.) What did the soccer player say when he accidentally kicked the ball into his own net?
I’m so goal-oriented.
15.) Why do magicians like to play soccer?
They are great at hat tricks.
Browse all of our sports joke books for kids – 300+ jokes per title.
16.) Why did the tiny soccer player take a shower?
He was a little Messi.
17.) How do we know that soccer referees are happy?
Because they whistle while they work.
18.) Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.
19.) Why are soccer games the coolest to watch?
Because they have lots of fans.
20.) What did the soccer goalie say to the ball?
Catch you later.
21.) Have you heard about the soccer player who lived past 100 years?
He’s still alive and kicking.
22.) What is it called when a dinosaur scores a goal?
A dino-score.
23.) Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.
24.) What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
Clean Soccer Jokes
25.) What does a soccer player say on Halloween?
Hat, Trick or Treat.
26.) Why couldn’t the soccer team lose a goal?
They always had a goalkeeper.
27.) Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game?
Persistent fowl play.
28.) What time is it when an elephant steps on your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball.
29.) Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
The sweeper.
30.) Why didn’t the lousy soccer team have a website?
They couldn’t string three W’s together.
31.) When is a soccer player like a judge?
When he sits on the bench.
32.) Why couldn’t the all-star soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
33.) Why do soccer players do well in life?
They know how to reach their goals.
34.) Why do soccer players love the game?
They are in it for the kicks.
35.) What did the bumblebee forward say after getting a goal?
Hive scored.
See Soccer Field Dimensions (With Diagram)
Futbol One-liners
36.) I get a kick out of you!
37.) Soccer is the best way to kick off the day.
38.) Soccer players are goal oriented.
39.) I’ve got goals in soccer and in life.
40.) The only dog that plays soccer is the goal-den retriever.
41.) Goal digger.
42.) Soccer players know how to use their heads.
43.) The only dog that plays soccer is the goal-den retriever.
44.) Get your kicks.
45.) It’s good to have goals.
46.) Soccer hair, don’t care.
47.) Dream big, play bigger.
49.) Play with heart, not just feet.
50.) Game on.
51.) For the love of the game.
52.) Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
Soccer Puns
53.) Why did the soccer fan toss his pop in the air?
He was celebrating a whirled cup.
54.) Why did the American soccer player decide to use his hands?
Because he was tired of de-feat.
66.) Why was Cinderella such a liability to her soccer team?
She kept running away from the ball!
57.) What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match!
58.) Why couldn’t the world-class soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
59.) What is the best place for a USA team to purchase new soccer uniform shirts?
New Jersey.
60.) What do you call a soccer team’s lunch in the park?
A kick-nic!
61.) Where was the first World Cup held?
In the hands of the winners!
62.) Why wasn’t the nose on the soccer team?
It didn’t get picked!
63.) What do you call someone who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A soccer coach.
64.) Where do forwards go to dance?
Soccer balls.
65.) Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team won, but no single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
They were women’s soccer teams!
Soccer Dad Jokes
66.) Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten.
67.) What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
A fence.
68.) What do you call soccer players who don’t wear their cleats?
Socker players.
69.) Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet.
70.) What is it called when a dinosaur scores a goal?
A dino-score!
71.) What is a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
Ghoul keeper.
72.) What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOAAAALLLL!!!
73.) Which soccer team is made up of sheep?
Baaaa-celona.
74.) Which soccer team is just learning to read?
ABCDE FC.
75.) Why didn’t the lousy soccer team have a website?
They couldn’t string three W’s together.
76.) Why did the motivational speaker call futbol a strange game?
He thought it was odd that a bunch of people were running away from their goals.
77.) Last weekend, my girlfriend’s soccer match. She had an awesome save. Do you know what I thought?
She’s definitely a keeper.
Short Soccer Jokes
78.) Soccer is the only sport that’s not a game of inches.
It’s a game of feet.
79.) Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
Because he was a sole music fan.
80.) When fish play football, who is the captain?
The team’s kipper!
81.) What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
A bawl (ball) club.
82.) Why do so many Americans play soccer?
So they don’t have to watch it on TV.
83.) What’s the difference between a bad soccer team and an albatross?
An albatross has got two decent wings.
84.) My son played soccer in the mud all day.
He was a little Messi.
85.) What time is it when an elephant steps on your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball!
86.) What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
Yellow cards.
87.) Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
88.) Why was the skeleton always left out in a soccer game?
Because he had nobody to play with.
89.) How do we know that soccer referees are happy on the pitch?
Because they whistle while they work.
Soccer Player Jokes
90.) Why did the soccer ball quit?
It was tired of getting kicked around.
91.) When Santa Claus plays soccer, he’s the coal-keeper.
92.) What’s a soccer player’s least favorite drink?
A penal-tea.
93.) How did the soccer field become a triangle?
Someone took a corner!
94.) What position does a soccer player who doesn’t care about the past or present play?
Forward.
95.) How are magicians like soccer players?
They both do hat tricks.
96.) I tried to start a soccer club in my community, so I put up some posters at the coffee shop… just to get the ball rolling.
97.) What do you call it when your opponent comes to town?
Arrival. (A rival)
98.) Who is the cleanest player on the pitch?
The sweeper.
99.) Why are soccer players good at math?
They’re used to using their heads.
100.) How did the field get wet?
All the players were dribbling on it.
101.) What do bumblebees say after scoring a goal?
Hive scored.
Soccer Knock-Knock Jokes
102.) Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Defense. Defense who?
Defense is around the soccer field.
103.) Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Soccer.
Soccer who?
Socc-ser in the drawer.
104.) Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Shelly?
Shelly who?
Shelly-brate our win by going for ice cream.
105.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Amarillo.
Amarillo who?
Amarillo good soccer player.
106.) Knock knock
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for, let’ go play soccer.
107.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, we need a goal soon!
108.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas hustle to that ball!
109.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you kick the ball to me once in a while?
110.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Sherwood.
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to make the coach happy with a win today.
111.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?
Juicy the look on the guy’s face when I scored?
112.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I kick hardest with my right foot.
113.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice game get any worse?
114.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke ahead to see the ball.
115.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Uruguay.
Uruguay who?
You go Uruguay, and I’ll go mine.
116.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Uriah-lly need to start passing the ball more!
117.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice game get any worse?
118.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
Europe early for practice.
119.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Les.
Les who?
Les play soccer and stop talking!
120.) Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah a good place to practice soccer?
Soccer Referee Jokes
121.) Q: How does a referee stay cool during a hot game?
A: He stands next to the “fans!”
122.) Q: What do soccer players do when they lose their eyesight?
A: They become referees!
123.) Q: Why did the referee suggest the player go to art school?
A: Because she was great at “drawing” fouls.
124.) Q: Why did the referee sit behind the goal?
A: He wanted a net-ter view!
125.) Q: Why did the referee bring a ladder?
A: The match was on another level.
126.) Q: Why did the soccer referee refuse to ref the game in the jungle?
A: There were too many cheetahs.
127.) Q: Why did the referee slip on the field?
A: Because players were dribbling everywhere.
128.) Q: Where do referees bring their dates?
A: To the Soccer-Ball!
129.) Q: Why did the chicken cross the soccer field?
A: The referee whistled for a “fowl”!
130.) Q: Why are referees great at magic tricks?
A: Because they can make a player disappear just by showing a piece of red plastic.
131.) Q: What do soccer referees send during the holidays?
A: Red cards.
132.) Q: Why do referees carry cards?
A: They’re out of cash!
133.) Q: Why did the soccer referee quit officiating games?
A: He couldn’t stand the foul language.
134.) Q: How do we know that soccer referees are happy on the pitch?
A: Because they whistle while they work.
135.) The soccer referee couldn’t figure out why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger…
A: Then, it hit him!
Soccer Goalie Jokes and Goalkeeper Fun
136.) Q: Why do goalies make great friends?
A: They’re real keepers.
137.) Q: Why did the goalie bring glue?
A: To stick to the plan.
138.) Q: What did the goalie say to the ball?
A: Catch ya later!
139.) Q. Why did the octopus play goalie?
A: Eight arms can stop a lot of shots!
140.) Q: What is a goalie’s favorite planet?
A: Net-tune!
141.) Q: Why did the goalkeeper go to the bank?
A: To check his balance.
142.) Q: Which goalkeeper can jump higher than the crossbars?
A: All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.
143.) Q: Why did the fish refuse to play goalkeeper?
A: He was afraid of the nets.
144.) Q: Why did the horse refuse to play goalkeeper?
A: It didn’t want to be saddled with responsibility.
145.) Q: Why did the goalkeeper take a nap before his goal kick?
A: He wanted to make sure it was a “dream” delivery.
146.) I’m not saying my team is bad, but our goalkeeper is the only person I know who can’t catch a cold.
Soccer Coach Jokes
147.) Q: Why was the mummy a great sub?
A: Because the coach knew that once he sent the mummy in, the game would be wrapped up.
148.) Q: Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the soccer team?
A: He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
149.) Q: Why do fans boo so loud?
A: ‘Cause it’s cheaper than hiring a real coach!
150.) Q: Why did the coach substitute the frog in early?
A: Because she wanted to jump-start the offense!
151.) Q: Why was Cinderella not a very good soccer player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin
152.) Q: Why did the coach bring a map?
A: The team kept losing direction.
153.) Q: Why did the coach yell at the grass?
A: It wasn’t cutting it.
154.) Q: What is a soccer coach’s favorite type of jewelry?
A: A whistle on a string.
155.) Q: Why did the coach instruct the players not to pass to the frog at the end of the game?
A: The frog always croaked under pressure.
Girls Soccer Jokes
156.) Q: What’s the difference between a soccer player and a magician?
A: A magician pulls rabbits out of hats; a soccer player pulls a hat-trick out of her cleats.
157.) Q: How do we know soccer players are great at school?
A: Because they know how to use their heads!
158.) Q: What do soccer players do when they get old?
A: They just keep kicking!
159.) Q: Why was the coach so angry at the ghost on the team?
A: Because she kept disappearing when they needed a spirit on the field.
160.) Q: Why are girls’ soccer players so good at math?
A: They know exactly how to use their “angles” to find the back of the net.
161.) My coach told me to stop acting like a flamingo on the field.
So I had to put my foot down.
162.) Why was the soccer team so good at playing hide-and-seek?
Because their defense was impossible to find!
Boys Soccer Jokes
163.) Why did the defender get a job at the airport?
He was an expert at “clearance.”
164.) Why did the soccer ball go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little “flat.”
165.) Why did the soccer ball stay away from the bully?
He was tired of getting kicked around.
166.) What’s a soccer player’s favorite math subject?
Goal-gebra!
167.) Why did the boy sit on the soccer ball?
He wanted to have a ball!
168.) What do you call a soccer player who loves donuts?
A goal-ie with a hole-ie appetite!
169.) Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a goal?
A: A dino-score
Skill-Specific Soccer Humor
Here’s some humor on specific skills players use in soccer.
Kicking Jokes
170.) Why was the soccer player’s homework late?
He kept kicking it down the field instead of turning it in!
171.) Q: What was the beauty pageant’s soccer team’s slogan?
A: Kicking and running while looking stunning!
172.) Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: It was tired of getting kicked around.
173.) Q: Why don’t soccer balls ever win arguments?
A: They always get kicked out
174.) Q: Why did the soccer player get kicked out of the library?
A: She kept shouting, “GOOOOAAAAL!” every time she finished a chapter.
175.) Q: What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music?
A: Anything with good kicks.
176.) Q: What do soccer players do when they get a “free kick”?
A: They look around for the hidden price tag. Nothing is ever really free.
Dribbling Jokes
177.) Q: Why did the referee slip on the field
A: Because players were dribbling everywhere.
178.) Q: A player dribbles the ball for five straight minutes… but never takes a single step. How?
A: They’re dribbling while standing still
179.) Q: Why did the player bring a toolbox to practice?
A: Because they wanted to fix their dribbling errors.
180.) Q: Why are soccer players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling.
181.) Why did the soccer player bring a towel while dribbling?
Because he didn’t want to drool on the ball!
Shooting Jokes
182.) Why did the striker bring a camera to the game?
Because he never misses a good shot!
183.) Why did the goalie bring sunscreen?
To protect himself from all those blazing shots!
184.) Why was the striker so good at video games?
Because he had perfect aim with every shot!
185.) Why are penalty shots the most honest shots in professional soccer?
Because it’s just you, the goalie… and 20,000 people judging your life choices.
186.) Why did the soccer player take his penalty shot with his eyes closed?
He wanted it to be a blind spot for the goalie!
187.) Why did the referee love penalty kicks?
Because they always put him right on the mark!
Header Jokes
188.) Q: Why did the soccer player bring a pillow to the game?
A: In case the ball wanted a soft header!
189.) Q: Why couldn’t the striker execute a header in the rain?
A: The ball kept slipping his mind!
190.) Why did the ball apologize to the striker?
It didn’t mean to get ahead of itself!
191.) Why did the soccer player put shampoo on his head before the game?
He wanted his headers to be extra clean!
192.) Q: Why did the header score get the loudest cheers?
A: Because it was a real head-turner!
Passing Jokes
193.) Q: What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?
A: Time passes.
194.) Q: Why did the coach instruct the players not to pass to the frog at the end of the game?
A: The frog always croaked under pressure.
195.) Q: Why did the cat join the soccer team?
A: It wanted to practice its purr-fect passing!
196.) I was going to pass it to you, but the goal was open first.
197.) Q: Why didn’t the selfish soccer player fail his test?
A: He didn’t want to pass.
198.) That pass was so smart, it deserves a degree!
199.) Soccer teaches you patience – mostly while waiting for your teammate to pass the ball.
200.) Q: How do we know soccer players are great at parties?
A: They really know how to “pass” the time.
World Cup Soccer Jokes
201.) Why don’t fish play in the World Cup?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
202.) What do you call a soccer player who wins the World Cup in his sleep?
A dream team captain!
203.) Why did the soccer team go to the bakery after winning the World Cup?
To get their just desserts!
204.) Why did the computer love the World Cup?
Because it enjoyed surfing the Net!
205.) Why did the soccer ball go to the World Cup game?
Because it wanted to get a kick out of the action!
FAQ — Soccer Jokes
Here are some frequently asked questions about soccer jokes.
Soccer jokes are short, easy to understand, and often silly or pun-filled, making them perfect for kids who love sports and humor.
Absolutely! Many soccer jokes are clever or pun-heavy enough to make adults laugh, especially fans who follow the sport or play casually.
Soccer jokes are great for icebreakers, classroom activities, party games, or just sharing laughs with family and friends while watching a match.
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.
Soccer isn’t just about goals and trophies—it’s about fun, laughter, and sharing silly moments with friends and fans. With these funny soccer jokes, you can bring extra cheer to every game, practice, or match-day gathering.
Ready to laugh even more? Dive into our Soccer Jokes for Kids Ages 7-10 book available on Amazon and discover puns, silly scenarios, and clever kicks that will keep kids and fans giggling from kickoff to final whistle!
By Mike O’Halloran
Founder and Editor, Sports Feel Good Stories
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