These basketball jokes are for those fans who love the game or who enjoy a good laugh. If you like March Madness, the NBA Championships, The Final Four, or even your local state tournament, this collection of jokes for basketball is sure to bring a smile or two. And, even if you’re not a huge fan, you’ll find something to enjoy a chuckle over.
Generally speaking, basketball humor falls under a few categories. They include simple puns, opposing team put-downs, and witty play on words. Some require a little knowledge of the game and some star players. Many take the form of question-and-answer jokes. Some are ideal basketball jokes for kids. We hope you enjoy them. We gave it our best shot.
Funny Basketball Jokes
- Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together. - Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball. - Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. - Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling. - Q: What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. - Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up. - Q: If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine. - Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one too. - Q: Why couldn’t Kobe pass the first grade?
A: He couldn’t pass the tests. - Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen - Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
A: He was learning how to draw fowls. - Q: What did March say to all the madness?
A: What’s all that bracket?
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Classic Hoops Humor
- Q: What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?
A: They become referees. - Q: What do you say when you miss a basket?
A: Shoot! - Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
A: Apparently they can’t string three “W’s” together. - Q: What do you call a Knicks’ player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen. - Q: What’s the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time.
A: Time passes. - Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV?
A: The Minnesota Timberwolves. - Q: What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?
A: Rewind the VHS tape. - Q: Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?
A: Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there. - Q: What does a Cavs’ fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the Xbox One. - Q: Why were the basketball team’s jersey’s so full of static?
A: The team was out of bounce.
Funniest NBA Bloopers
One-Liners
- Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just out standing.
- The reason Madison, Wisconsin doesn’t have a professional basketball team is that pretty soon Milwaukee will want one, too.
- My brother thinks he’s good at basketball. He says, “I’ve been Duncan my whole life!”
- The Cavaliers are a team in transition… they’re going from bad to worse.
- Our basketball coach loves dogs… he has three-pointers.
- Cinderella was such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin.
- Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.
- The man walking through the airport with a basketball must’ve been traveling.
- The Lake Trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.
- I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court because my skills are garbage.
- A “Bawler” is a sad basketball player.
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Humorous Basketball Funnies
- Q: Did you hear about Team USA Men’s Team?
A: 10 men, 1 dream, and 19 eyebrows. - Q: What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A: A bouncing baby boa. - Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
A: They hog the ball. - Q: What does a Minnesota Timberwolves’ fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the PlayStation - Q: Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?
A: Kobe Wan Kenobi.
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Hilarious Basketball Jokes
- Q: What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
A: They both get negative returns. - Q: Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle?
A: Because of the cheetahs. - Q: Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?
A: Because they play dead at home and they die on the road. - Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?
A: One drools, the other dribbles. - Q: What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball?
A: Get out of the way. - Q: What type of cheese do basketball players love?
A: Swish cheese. - Q: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
A: It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
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Witty Basketball Puns
- Q: If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
A: Missle toe! - Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin. - Q: Where do basketball players eat in the morning?
A: Dunkin’ Donuts. - Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A: A ball hog - Q: What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?
A: Treasury bonds eventually mature. - Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A: A tall tale. - Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.”
- Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament? The rest can dress themselves.
Hope you enjoyed these and best swishes.
–Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Sports Feel Good Stories.
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