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You are here: Home / Basketball Jokes

Basketball Jokes

These basketball jokes are for those fans who love the game or who enjoy a good laugh. If you like March Madness, the NBA Championships, The Final Four, or even your local state tournament, this collection of jokes for basketball is sure to bring a smile or two. And, even if you’re not a huge fan, you’ll find something to enjoy a chuckle over.

Generally speaking, basketball humor falls under a few categories. They include simple puns, opposing team put-downs, and witty play on words. Some require a little knowledge of the game and some star players. Many take the form of question-and-answer jokes. Some are ideal basketball jokes for kids. We hope you enjoy them. We gave it our best shot.

Jump Menu — Basketball Jokes
  • Funny Basketball Jokes
  • Classic Hoops Humor
  • Funniest NBA Bloopers
  • One-Liners
  • Humorous Basketball Funnies
  • Witty Basketball Puns

Funny Basketball Jokes

  • Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website?
    A: They can’t string three W’s together.
  • Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
    A: She ran away from the ball.
  • Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?
    A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  • Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
    A: They’re always dribbling.
  • Q: What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?
    A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  • Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
    A: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
  • Q: If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
    A: Five after nine.
  • Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
    A: Because then New York City would want one too.
  • Q: Why couldn’t Kobe pass the first grade?
    A: He couldn’t pass the tests.
  • Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
    A: A senior citizen
  • Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
    A: He was learning how to draw fowls.
  • Q: What did March say to all the madness?
    A: What’s all that bracket?

You might like Sports Trivia Questions Quiz

Basketball Jokes

Classic Hoops Humor

  • Q: What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?
    A: They become referees.
  • Q: What do you say when you miss a basket?
    A: Shoot!
  • Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
    A: Apparently they can’t string three “W’s” together.
  • Q: What do you call a Knicks’ player with a championship ring?
    A: A senior citizen.
  • Q: What’s the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time.
    A: Time passes.
  • Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV?
    A: The Minnesota Timberwolves.
  • Q: What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?
    A: Rewind the VHS tape.
  • Q: Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?
    A: Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.
  • Q: What does a Cavs’ fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals?
    A: Turn off the Xbox One.
  • Q: Why were the basketball team’s jersey’s so full of static?
    A: The team was out of bounce.

Funniest NBA Bloopers

One-Liners

  • Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just out standing.
  • The reason Madison, Wisconsin doesn’t have a professional basketball team is that pretty soon Milwaukee will want one, too.
  • My brother thinks he’s good at basketball. He says, “I’ve been Duncan my whole life!”
  • The Cavaliers are a team in transition… they’re going from bad to worse.
  • Our basketball coach loves dogs… he has three-pointers.
  • Cinderella was such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin.
  • Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.
  • The man walking through the airport with a basketball must’ve been traveling.
  • The Lake Trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.
  • I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court because my skills are garbage.
  • A “Bawler” is a sad basketball player.

You might like Funny Basketball Quotes.

Humorous Basketball Funnies

  • Q: Did you hear about Team USA Men’s Team?
    A: 10 men, 1 dream, and 19 eyebrows.
  • Q: What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
    A: A bouncing baby boa.
  • Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
    A: They hog the ball.
  • Q: What does a Minnesota Timberwolves’ fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
    A: Turn off the PlayStation
  • Q: Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?
    A: Kobe Wan Kenobi.

Check out this basketball prank.

Hilarious Basketball Jokes

  • Q: What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
    A: They both get negative returns.
  • Q: Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle?
    A: Because of the cheetahs.
  • Q: Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?
    A: Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.
  • Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?
    A: One drools, the other dribbles.
  • Q: What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball?
    A: Get out of the way.
  • Q: What type of cheese do basketball players love?
    A: Swish cheese.
  • Q: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
    A: It’s always getting tentacle fouls.

You might like Football Jokes.

Witty Basketball Puns

  • Q: If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
    A: Missle toe!
  • Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
    A: Her coach was a pumpkin.
  • Q: Where do basketball players eat in the morning?
    A: Dunkin’ Donuts.
  • Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
    A: A ball hog
  • Q: What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?
    A: Treasury bonds eventually mature.
  • Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
    A: A tall tale.
  • Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.”
  • Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament? The rest can dress themselves.

Hope you enjoyed these and best swishes.

–Mike O’Halloran

Mike is the founder and editor of Sports Feel Good Stories.

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