Basketball Jokes

Looking for the funniest basketball jokes on the internet?

You’ve come to the right court. This ultimate collection features 150 clean basketball jokes, including puns, riddles, knock-knock jokes, dad jokes, one-liners, and NBA humor for kids and fans.

Mike O’Halloran, author of Basketball Jokes for Kids, shares some of his favorite basketball jokes.

In general, basketball humor falls into a few categories. The humor includes simple puns, put-downs of opposing teams, and witty wordplay. Many take the form of question-and-answer jokes. We hope you enjoy them. We gave it our best shot (so to speak).

Funny Basketball Jokes

1.) Q: Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
A: Because that would be traveling.

2.) Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.

3.) Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

4.) Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

5.) Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling.

6.) Q: What is the difference between a Suns fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.

7.) Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Discover all of our sports joke books: basketball, soccer, and baseball.

8.) Q: If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.

See Basketball Roles and Responsibilities of Each Position.

9.) Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one too.

10.) Q: Why did the ball hog fail his chemistry test?
A: He didn’t like to pass.

You might like Best Basketball Slang.

Basketball Jokes For Kids

11.) Q: Why couldn’t Kobe pass the first grade?
A: He couldn’t pass the tests.

12.) Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen

See Best Fun Team Names.

13.) Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
A: He was learning how to draw fowls.

14.) Q: What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
A: Ghoul tending.

15.) Q: What do cheerleaders eat before they go to a basketball game?
A: Rooty vegetables.

16.) Q: What did March say to all the madness?
A: What’s all that bracket?

17.) Q: Why did the ball hog not go to college?
A: Everyone knew he wouldn’t pass.

18.) Q: What do you call a basketball player who misses dunks?
A: Alley Whoops.

You might like the Sports Trivia Questions Quiz.

Basketball Puns

19.) Q: What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?
A: They become referees.

20.) Q: What does a Bulls fan do after watching his team win?
A: Rewind the tape.

See The Basketball: A Deep Dive All About the Ball.

21.) Q: What do you say when you miss a basket?
A: Shoot!

22.) Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
A: Apparently, they can’t string three “W’s” together.

See Kobe Bryant Day.

23.) Q: What does a Timberwolves fan do after winning the Finals?
A: Turn off the PlayStation and go to bed.

24.) Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen.

25.) Q: Why is a referee like an angry chicken?
A: They both have foul mouths.

See the Most Popular Harlem Globetrotters.

Basketball Riddles

26.) Q: How do you beat the crowd at a Nuggets game?
A: Wait until the game finishes.

27.) Q: What’s the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time?
A: Time passes.

28.) Q: Why did Larry Bird sketch chickens?
A: He was trying to draw fowls.

29.) Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV?
A: The Minnesota Timberwolves.

30.) Q: What do an angry rabbit and an NBA player have in common?
A: Mad hops.

See Caitlin Clark: Quotes About and From Her

31.) Q: What do you call a failed Alley Oop?
A: An Alley Oops!

32.) Q: What do you do when you see a lion with a basketball?
A: Get out of the way.

33.) Q: What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?
A: Rewind the VHS tape.

See our Funny Baseball Jokes and Humor page.

34.) Q: Where do point guards take their dates after the game?
A: To the Basket Ball.

35.) Q: What does a Cavs fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the Xbox One.

36.) Q: Why were the basketball team’s jerseys so full of static?
A: The team was out of bounce.

Check out Basketball Day.

Funniest Basketball Jokes Video

Short Basketball Jokes – One-Liners

37.) Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just outstanding.

38.) The reason Madison, Wisconsin, doesn’t have a professional basketball team is that pretty soon, Milwaukee will want one, too.

39.) My brother thinks he’s good at basketball. He says, “I’ve been Duncan my whole life!”

40.) The Cavaliers are a team in transition… they’re going from bad to worse.

41.) Our basketball coach loves dogs… he has three-pointers.

42.) Cinderella was such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin.

43.) Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.

44.) The man walking through the airport with a basketball must have been traveling.

45.) The lake trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.

46.) I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court because my skills are garbage.

47.) A “Bawler” is a sad basketball player.

48.) Forget about it; not even Cinderella is getting to this ball.

49.) I used to be addicted to basketball. But then I rebounded.

50.) Basketball sued tennis for no reason… now, they have to go to court.

51.) Don’t make excuses; make your shots.

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Basketball Dad Jokes

52.) Q: What’s the difference between time and a ball hog?
A: Time passes.

53.) Q: Did you hear about Team USA Men’s Team?
A: 10 men, 1 dream, and 19 eyebrows.

54.) Q: What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A: A bouncing baby boa.

55.) Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
A: They hog the ball.

56.) Q: Why did the elephants stampede the basketball court?
A: They wanted to play for the Chargers.

NBA and NCAA Basketball Jokes

57.) Q: Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?
A: Kobe Wan Kenobi.

58.) Q: What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
A: Michael Gourdan.

59.) .Q: What does a Minnesota Timberwolves player do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the PlayStation.

60.) Q: What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?
A: Bass-ketball. Duh.

61.) Q: What’s the only difference between time and James Harden?
A: Time passes.

62.) Q: Why is the Westminster Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?
A: Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.

63.) Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and four credit hours for it.

64.) Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and four credit hours for it.

Funny Basketball Sayings

Smack talk at its best starts right here. Some of these make great basketball captions as well.

65.) Sharpen your pencil and take notes.

66.) I’ve got five fouls, and I plan on using them.

67.) I used to be addicted to basketball, but then I rebounded.

68.) There are so many bricks, this must be a construction site.

69.) You can build a wall with all of these bricks!

70.) What did you do to your teammates that you have to guard me?

71.) Did you tape those ankles?

72.) IHOOP!

73.) You had me at basketball.

74.) I don’t usually roll a joint, but when I do, it’s my ankle.

75.) No blood; No foul!

76.) Hoping both teams have fun out there.

77.) Hoop like a girl.

78.) Classy until tip-off.

79.) I got 99 problems, but my game ain’t one.

80.) On fire, and I’m not stopping.

81.) Shoot hoops – not people.

82.) Basketball is my favorite season.

83.) Born to shoot hoops!

84.) Basketball makes me happy; You, not so much.

85.) Free Ballin’!

86.) I’m the player your coach warned you about.

87.) Actions speak louder than your coaches.

88.) Pass? Just go for rebounds.

89.) Longfellow is the Poet Laureate of basketball — the known poet of basketball.

Basketball Brainteasers

90.) Q: What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
A: They both get negative returns.

91.) Q: Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle?
A: Because of the cheetahs.

92.) Q: Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?
A: Because they play dead at home, and they die on the road.

93.) Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?
A: One drools; the other dribbles.

94.) Q: What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball?
A: Get out of the way.

95.) Q: What type of cheese do basketball players love?
A: Swish cheese.

96.) Q: How were the scrambled eggs like the losing basketball team?
A: They’d both been beaten.

97.) Q: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
A: It’s always getting tentacle fouls.

98.) Q: Why was the hoop player charged with a crime?
A: She shot the ball.

99.) Q: Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
A: They’ll get called for traveling.

100.) Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the NBA playoffs on TV?
A: The Minnesota Timberwolves.

101.) Q: How many Lakers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it’s a blowout, then they all show up.

102.) Q: What do Chicago Bulls fans do after the Chicago Bulls win the championship?
A: Rewind the VHS tape.

103.) Q: Why don’t the Celtics have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.

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Hilarious Basketball Humor

104.) Q: If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
A: Missile toe!

105.) Q: Why don’t fish like basketball?
A: They’re afraid of the nets.

106.) Q: Why do hoops players love donuts?
A: Because they can dunk them.

107.) Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.

108.) Q: What’s the difference between Charles and time?
A: Time passes.

109.) Q: What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
A: Get out of the way.

110.) Q: Where do basketball players eat in the morning?
A: Dunkin’ Donuts.

111.) Q: Why was the basketball court all wet?
A: Apparently, players dribbled all over it.

112.) Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A: A ball hog

113.) Q: What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?
A: Treasury bonds eventually mature.

114.) Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A: A tall tale.

115.) Q: Why was Cinderella a lousy basketball player?
A: She had a pumpkin for a coach.

116.) Speaking of pumpkins, did you hear about the one who played basketball?
He was a point gourd.

Coaching a youth team?

If you’re coaching a team this season, you might also like our Basketball Practice Plans For Coaches, which include 30 structured practices, drills, and coaching tips for 4th–8th grade teams.

Basketball Coach Jokes

117.) Duke students struggle to spell “Krzyzewski.” UNC students struggle to spell “Smith.”

118.) Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament? The rest can dress themselves.

119.) Tennis has taught me that I can be better at basketball. Why? Because it’s nothing but net when I play.

120.) The hoops team’s favorite doughnut shop was Dunkin’ Donuts.

121.) Basketball stars don’t pass away – they just crossover.

122.) I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting bigger and bigger – then, it hit me!

123.) The anti-vax hoops team lost every game. They never took any shots.

124.) What did the cheese say when it made a basketball goal? Swiss!

125.) Don’t play pick-up basketball with pigs; they hog the ball.

126.) Why was the basketball arena hot after the game? All the fans left.

127.) Who is the poet laureate of basketball players? Longfellow.

128.) Did you hear about the computer guy who hacked into the ball hog’s computer? The ball hog didn’t have a password. He had a “shoot word.”

129.) What do you give a basketball player who never washes his jersey? A fragrant foul.

Basketball Team Jokes

130.) What did the grumpy old man say about March Madness being on TV? Turn down that bracket!

131.) What did LeBron James do after leading the Los Angeles Lakers to the playoffs? He turned off his Xbox.

132.) What do losing college basketball coaches get each spring? March Sadness.

133.) Why did the coach recruit a triangle for his basketball team? Three-pointers all the time!

134.) Why couldn’t the basketball stay in a long-term relationship? It was always on the rebound.

135.) Why are Lego people always bad at basketball? They always shoot bricks.

Basketball Knock-Knock Jokes

136.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden.
Wooden who?
Wooden you like to know how I learned to shoot?

137.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how to stop my jump shot?

138.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the best basketball team you’ll ever see!

139.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Axe.
Axe who?
Axe anyone, I’m the best dribbler on the court!

140.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time to see me make this free throw!

141.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hoops.
Hoops who?
I think you mean “Whoops!” because I just stole the ball!

142.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben waiting for you to pass the ball all day!

143.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me find my lucky sneakers?

144.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita new basketball, this one is flat!

145.) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and get back on defense!

Basketball Referee Jokes

146.) Q: Why did the referee quit officiating games?
A: He couldn’t stand the foul language.

147.) Q: Why did the referee give the basketball player a suitcase?
A: Because he was “traveling” way too much!

148.) Q: How does a referee stay cool during a hot game?
A: He stands next to the “fans!”

149.) Q: Why do I never invite the referee to my backyard BBQs?
A: Because every time I flip a burger, he calls me for a “carrying” violation!

150.) Q: Why did the referee suggest the player go to art school?
A: Because she was great at “drawing” fouls.

FAQ: Funny Basketball Jokes

Here are some frequently asked questions about basketball jokes.

Basketball isn’t just about slam dunks and buzzer-beaters. It’s also about laughter, silly puns, and sharing a good joke with friends. With 150 hilarious basketball jokes at your fingertips, there’s always a way to bring extra fun to practice, game day, or just hanging out at home.

So grab a friend, toss around a few laughs, and let the jokes fly as fast as a three-point shot! Whether you’re dribbling, shooting, or just cheering from the sidelines, these basketball jokes are guaranteed to keep everyone smiling from tip-off to the final whistle.

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