These basketball jokes are for those fans who love the game or who enjoy a good laugh. If you like March Madness, the NBA Championships, The Final Four, or even your local state tournament, this collection of jokes for basketball is sure to bring a smile or two. And, even if you’re not a huge fan, you’ll find something to enjoy a chuckle over.
Generally speaking, basketball humor falls under a few categories. They include simple puns, opposing team put-downs, and witty play on words. Some require a little knowledge of the game and some star players. Many take the form of question-and-answer jokes. Some are ideal basketball jokes for kids. We hope you enjoy them. We gave it our best shot.
Funny Basketball Jokes
Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website?
A: They can’t string three W’s together.
Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling.
Q: What is the difference between a Suns’ fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
Q: If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
A: Five after nine.
Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one too.
Q: Why couldn’t Kobe pass the first grade?
A: He couldn’t pass the tests.
Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen
Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
A: He was learning how to draw fowls.
Q: What did March say to all the madness?
A: What’s all that bracket?
You might like Sports Trivia Questions Quiz
Classic Hoops Humor
Q: What do basketball players do when they can no longer see?
A: They become referees.
Q: What do you say when you miss a basket?
A: Shoot!
Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
A: Apparently they can’t string three “W’s” together.
Q: What do you call a Knicks’ player with a championship ring?
A: A senior citizen.
Q: What’s the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time.
A: Time passes.
Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV?
A: The Minnesota Timberwolves.
Q: What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship?
A: Rewind the VHS tape.
Q: Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?
A: Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.
Q: What does a Cavs’ fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the Xbox One.
Q: Why were the basketball team’s jersey’s so full of static?
A: The team was out of bounce.
Funniest NBA Bloopers
One-Liners
Offensively, James Harden is outstanding. Defensively, he’s just out standing.
The reason Madison, Wisconsin doesn’t have a professional basketball team is that pretty soon Milwaukee will want one, too.
My brother thinks he’s good at basketball. He says, “I’ve been Duncan my whole life!”
The Cavaliers are a team in transition… they’re going from bad to worse.
Our basketball coach loves dogs… he has three-pointers.
Cinderella was such a bad basketball player because her coach was a pumpkin.
Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.
The man walking through the airport with a basketball must’ve been traveling.
The Lake Trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.
I talk a lot of trash on the basketball court because my skills are garbage.
A “Bawler” is a sad basketball player.
You might like Funny Basketball Quotes.
Humorous Basketball Funnies
Q: Did you hear about Team USA Men’s Team?
A: 10 men, 1 dream, and 19 eyebrows.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A: A bouncing baby boa.
Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
A: They hog the ball.
Q: What does a Minnesota Timberwolves’ fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: Turn off the PlayStation
Q: Who is the best Star Wars character at basketball?
A: Kobe Wan Kenobi.
Check out this basketball prank.
Hilarious Basketball Jokes
Q: What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
A: They both get negative returns.
Q: Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle?
A: Because of the cheetahs.
Q: Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?
A: Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.
Q: What’s the difference between a basketball player and a dog?
A: One drools, the other dribbles.
Q: What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball?
A: Get out of the way.
Q: What type of cheese do basketball players love?
A: Swish cheese.
Q: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
A: It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
You might like Football Jokes.
Witty Basketball Puns
Q: If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
A: Missle toe!
Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.
Q: Where do basketball players eat in the morning?
A: Dunkin’ Donuts.
Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A: A ball hog
Q: What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans?
A: Treasury bonds eventually mature.
Q: What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A: A tall tale.
Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.”
Did you hear that the USC basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament? The rest can dress themselves.
Hope you enjoyed these and best swishes.
–Mike O’Halloran
Mike is the founder and editor of Sports Feel Good Stories.
Overtime
You’re on the Basketball Jokes page.
You might like:
Football Terms and Definitions
Driveway Basketball Games for Shooting